Saturday, May 1, 2010

British monster menaces choir boys
and big-breasted women!

Panic (aka "Bakterion") (1974)
Starring: David Warbeck, Janet Agren, and Jose Lifante
Director: Tonino Ricci
Rating: Three of Ten Stars

A butter-fingered scientist spills experimental biological weapons-matter all over himself and turns into a rampaging creature that attacks big-breasted women in tight tops and choir boys on the outskirts of London. Captain Kirk (Warbeck)--no, not THAT Captain Kirk--is charged with hunting him down while a beautiful scientist (Agren) races to find a cure.

This is not the worst movie ever made, but it certainly is one of the stupidest. Heavily padded with tranquil city and country road scenes--supposedly made suspenseful by the lame soundtrack--and featuring a lame monster, lame villains, a painfully generic hero, and even more painfully bad dialogue.

"Panic" might provide some mild entertainment as a secondary feature at a Bad Movie Party, but otherwise it's an utterly worthless bit of cinema.


  1. The title of this post alone makes me question how I could possibly have not seen this movie. Even after hearing how alarming bad it is, I still kind of want to see it just because of that post title.

  2. The array of victims was the one thing I found amusing about this film. (Well, and the name of the hero... but that one's almost too easy.)