Wednesday, December 16, 2009

Not a creature was stirring, because Santa killed them!

Santa's Slay (2005)
Starring: Bill Goldberg, Emilie de Ravin, Douglas Smith, Robert Kulp, and Dave Thomas
Director: David Steiman
Rating: Six of Ten Stars

Once upon a time, a demon lost a bet with an angel and was then forced to nice to children. He became known as Santa Claus. However, this Christmas, the 1,000 years are up, and now Santa (Goldberg) gets to be as nasty as he wants... and he's got one thousand years of yuletide horror to catch up on.

"Santa's Slay" is a fabulous horror comedy, with plenty of reference to Christmas pop-culture mainstays and lots of laughlines as the "jolly old elf" reasserts his true nature and calling and massacres his way across Christmas Eve.

Goldberg does a great job as the musclebound, hulking Santa, and, like most other professional wrestlers, he shows a sharp talent for comic acting. He takes what might be an eye-rolling concept--Santa as demon--and actually makes it something you can buy into. Unfortunately, our heroes--the fetching de Ravin and the milque-toasty Smith--both give such weak performances that I almost found myself wishing Santa would take them out next.

Still, with plenty of fun dialogue and an even greater amount of yule-themed murders committed with common household impliments, I think this might be something for the more cynical adults to watch after the little kids are soundly asleep.

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