Wednesday, June 5, 2019

Tartu: The Original Florida Man?

Death Curse of Tartu (1966)
Starring: Fred Pinero, Babbette Sherrill, Myara Christine and Gary Holtz
Director: William Grefe
Rating: Two of Ten Stars

An undead, shape-shifting Indian shaman takes gory revenge on a group of researchers that has disturbed his underground tomb (located deep in the Everglades swamp).



If you're looking for a movie that gets virtually nothing right, "Death Curse of Tartu" is the film for you. It's got bad actors delivering badly written lines, it's got bland cinematography, pathetic gore effects, some of the worst Foley work you'll see this side of silent movies, and so much inappropriate sound track music that you'll grow numb to it. (The director of the film apparently thought that dramatic music during scenes where nothing happens--such as shots of characters trekking through the bushes or someone making coffee at the campfire--would make the film more exciting). To perfect the awfulness of the film, every character is too dumb to ive, including the survivors of Tartu's wrath and even Tartu himself. There are few films that rely more on "Stupid Character Syndrome" to drag itself to its non-thrilling conclusion this one.

And then there's the fact that Tartu is buried in a bone-dry, sandstone cave that looks like it belongs in the American Southwest rather than a Florida swamp. It makes absolutely no sense and it destroys what little credibility the film had. (Even if such dry caves are possibly in a goopy swamp, it doesn't feel realistic... a thing that's important to achieve in films like this.)

The movie is also deadly dull for the first 35 or so minutes--as it's 12-15 minutes of real material padded with useless film of characters meandering about the swamp--but it picks up a bit when the main group of characters gets to the Everglades. Unfortunately, the padding problem only becomes slightly less severe, causing interesting and even borderline suspenseful parts of the movie to be separated with some of the most boring bits of film you'll ever sit through.

The 2 rating I'm giving "Death Curse of Tartu" is perhaps too generous, but there were glimmers of life in the last 45 minutes of so. If the director and producer had been disciplined enough to make a film 68 minutes instead of 84 minutes, maybe the 2 would be fully deserved. Perhaps this might even be a 3.

"Death Curse of Tartu" was made available for the first time on DVD via a "Something Weird Video" Floria-themed double feature extravaganza. The second half of the double-bill isn't all that good either, but it looks like a masterpiece next to this one.


Wednesday, March 6, 2019

The many versions of Pet Sematary!

Every so often on my Facebook page, I post a favorite song of mine as it is found on YouTube, followed by a number of covers. The most recent expedition in search of hidden treasures revolved around "Pet Semetary", the most underrated song the Ramones recorded.

Why don't you swing my Facebook and take a listen to my choices by clicking below? Let me know if you agree or disagree with my comments... and perhaps even let me know about a favorite cover of yours that I didn't fine by posting a link to it!





Tuesday, December 18, 2018

Horror for the Holidays: Humbug!

With the Christmas Season in full swing, this seems like a good time to bring you some alternatives to the usual Chrimast Cheer.

Today's offering makes me realize how smart it is do just be nice back when someone wishes you "Merry Christmas" or otherwise tries to be all Christmas-y in your general direction. It doesn't cost anything to be nice and gracious after all... and who knows what the alternative might cost.






HUMBUG (2016)
Starring: Jessee Foudray and Milly Sanders
Directors:Matt Thiesen and Justin Lee
Rating: Eight of Ten Stars


Saturday, December 15, 2018

Looking for a cure for the Holiday Cheer?

Terror Titans stirs ever-so-briefly for the Holiday Season with the first of a few Christmas themed horror short films!

Elf on the Shelf (2017)
Starring: Whitney Moore and Connor McGee
Director: Gabe Younes
Rating: Six of Ten Stars


Wednesday, October 31, 2018

31 Nights of Halloween: Treaters

Two friends who are invited in a big Halloween night score by a mysterious third kid: Why just settle for the candy they can get by going door to door when they can just rob the candy shop?


Like any good heist movie, this one's got a break-in, reversals, betrayals, and a daring getaway. Like any good horror movie, it's got tons of atmosphere and surprise twists. It's a great little film for you to spend a few minutes on, on this the last of the 31 Nights of Halloween for 2018!

Treaters (2017)
Starring: Leila Wetton, James Grogan, Renate Morley, and Charlie Huckett
Director: Peter Stanley-Ward
Rating: Nine of Ten Stars


THIS IS HALLOWEEN!

The last of the 31 Nights of Halloween is almost here! Let's celebrate with song!


By Fletcher Kinnear



31 Nights of Halloween: Tricker's Treat



The Big Night is almost here, and so I present a cautionary tale. Watch and consider what you see, because I would hate for anyone reading this to draw the ire of the Halloween Spirits who roam freely this time of year.


Tricker's Treat (2012)
Starring: Paul Hernandez and Mitch Kerzic
Director: Danny Green
Rating: Eight of Ten Stars