'Haunts' is an interesting misfire

Haunts (aka "The Veil") (1977)
Starring: May Britt, Cameron Mitchell, and Aldo Ray
Director: Herb Free
Rating: Four of Ten Stars

A young woman (Britt) haunted by dark memories is stalked by a murdering rapist. Or is she? The town sheriff (Aldo) thinks she's being hysterical and possibly even losing her mind... but just what is it her slovenly uncle (Mitchell) doing with his nights?



"Haunts" is a thriller that attempts to use a mentally unbalanced character to provide the narrative Point of View for the film. It's a clever and laudable idea, but it's not one that the director and writer (one and the same, at least with a co-writing credit on the script) were up to pulling off. The film is a bit too slow in unfolding, and what could have been a truly powerful ending (with some chilling realizations dawning on the part of the attentive viewers) is weakened by it likewise going on for a tad too long and by a last-minute attempt at throwing a possibility of something supernatural into a straight thriller. Once again, we have an ending that's ruined by filmmakers who just didn't know when to quit.

Along the way, though, we are treated to some great, creepy imagery that captures the loneliness and isolation of the main character, and which manages to make the setting into a character in the film almost as important as the leads.

With some judicious editing, this film could actually be quite good, and it's one I wish I liked more. There's alot of misspent potential here, and all the three leads do such a good job that the void of talent embodied by some of the supporting cast is almost not noticeable. In fact, a scene in a bar featuring two of these talentless actors could be cut almost entirely, and the film would immediately get stronger in several ways--the mystery of the killer's ID would be heightened, and we'd have lost some of the more noxious flab dangling from the work's body.

Seriously flawed, the film still has just enough good parts to make it worth checking out if you have an interest in the development of the slasher flim--this is one of those almost-formed slashers that pre-date "Halloween"--or if you're a filmmaker interested in an object lesson of how just one or two bad choices can ruin an otherwise decent picture.






Note: "Arbogast" just posted a nice write-up of this film, which is what cause me to reach into the archives over at Watching the Detectives and repost this review here (with a couple of tweaks). Click here to see what he had to say.

Murder and mayhem and malfunctioning zombies...oh my!

Death Warmed Up (1985)
Starring: Michael Hurst, Margaret Umbers, William Upjohn, Gary Day, and Norelle Scott
Director: David Blyth
Rating: Three of Ten Stars

Evil Dr. Howell (Day) brainwashes young Michael (Hurst) to murder his parents, because they annoy him. Michael then spends several years in a mental institution, while Howell goes onto turning most of the residents of a small island into brain-surgically altered zombies that are controlled by sound waves (or, at the very least, beeper signals)... that is, when they're not malfunctioning and going on violent murder and rape sprees. Michael is eventually released from the loonie bin, and brings three friends to Howell's island, hoping to gain revenge. Mayhem, motorcycle chases in underground tunnels, zombie rampages, and the violent deaths of innocent friends ensue.



This movie makes absolutely no sense. I've had dreams that were more coherent than "Death Warmed Up".

In this movie, we have a mad doctor doing experiments on a massive scale, yet there's no indication where his funding is coming from, or why the authorities haven't taken notice. He's got an army of zombies with some sort of brain implants that malfunction every now and then... sometimes the malfunctioning zombies are killed, sometimes they're put in a storage locker (where disgruntled employees can release them when the plot calls for it). We've got zombies driving motorcycles in the tunnels near the mad doctor's sprawling facility, because that is a GREAT way to keep out intruders, I imagine.

And then we have our heroes. I'm not even going to start attempting to explain their actions (and lack thereof). I will wonder, though, why, if Michael came to the island in search of Dr. Howell, why did he drag three friends (two of them wholly ignorant about Michael's past) along... and why does he spend time romping on the beach with them?

The film is watchable if you approach it like a really stupid logic puzzle... or if you're throwing a Bad Movie Party and looking for something to round out the lineup. Otherwise, you're better off ignoring "Death Warmed Up."

British monster menaces choir boys and big-breasted women!

Panic (aka "Bakterion") (1974)
Starring: David Warbeck, Janet Agren, and Jose Lifante
Director: Tonino Ricci
Rating: Three of Ten Stars

A butter-fingered scientist spills experimental biological weapons-matter all over himself and turns into a rampaging creature that attacks big-breasted women in tight tops and choir boys on the outskirts of London. Captain Kirk (Warbeck)--no, not THAT Captain Kirk--is charged with hunting him down while a beautiful scientist (Agren) races to find a cure.


This is not the worst movie ever made, but it certainly is one of the stupidest. Heavily padded with tranquil city and country road scenes--supposedly made suspenseful by the lame soundtrack--and featuring a lame monster, lame villains, a painfully generic hero, and even more painfully bad dialogue.

"Panic" might provide some mild entertainment as a secondary feature at a Bad Movie Party, but otherwise it's an utterly worthless bit of cinema.

Tales from just BEFORE the grave

Alien Zone (aka "House of the Dead" and "Zone of the Dead") (1978)
Starring: John Ericson, Ivor Francis, Charles Aidman, Bernard Fox, Richard Gates, Judith Novgrod, and Burr DeBenning
Director: Sharron Miller
Rating: Six of Ten Stars

A filandering salesman (Ericson) loses his way back to his hotel and seeks shelter from a rainstorm in a rundown funeral home. The mortician (Francis) tells him the strange tales of how four of his "costumers" came to be in their coffins.


"House of the Dead" is structured like the better-known horror anthologies from the British production house Amicus. The movie consists of four short horror films and a framing device which is itself is a horror short. Like virtually every anthology film ever made, what we have here is mixed bag, ranging from pretty good to inoffensively plain. The shorts are somewhat more mystifying than what these films usually present, and the frame is not as creepy and/or ironic in its conclusion as I think the filmmakers may have believed, but it's decent enough.

As for the four stories, they start weak and get much better as the film progresses. The first two entries--one that sees a child-hating teacher (Novgrod) through the worst night of her life, and a mystifying little tale of a serial killer (DeBenning) who records his murders on a film camera--are unremarkable but inoffensive. They don't present any scares or decent laughs, but they are both short enough that you won't get bored before they reach their humdrum conclusions.

As for the four stories, the best of the lot is the one where a coldhearted, snobbish office-worker (Gates) finds himself trapped by an unseen person in a house of horrors; if there's any bit of film that may have served as a precursor for "Cube" or "Saw" films, it's this one. The second best deals with a pair of rival criminologists (Aidman and Fox), each of whom consider themselves to be the best in the world... and each of whom intend to see their rivalry ended in a most permanent fashion. Both of these tales hold some genuine chills, and they will also inspire chuckles in the audience as irony asserts itself in their closing moments.

If you like anthology films, I think you'll enjoy this one. It's no "From Beyond the Grave" or "Creepshow", but it's not bad.

Immortal Nazis add confusion to 'Cataclysm'

Cataclysm
(aka "The Nightmare Never Ends" "Shiver", and "Satan's Supper") (1981)
Starring: Cameron Mitchell, Marc Lawrence, Faith Clift, Robert Bristol, and Richard Moll
Directors: Philip Marshak and Tom McGowan
Rating: Three of Ten Stars

A doctor (Clift) is chosen by God to be the one person who can defeat Satan's immortal servant on Earth (Lawrence). Will she act before it's too late, or will she listen to her militantly Atheist husband (Moll)? Meanwhile, a Holocaust survivor (Bristol) and a cop (Mitchell) are also on the trail of Satan's chosen one.


"Cataclysm" is a disaster of a movie. Most of the actors are terrible (Mitchell, Bristol, and Moll being the only exceptions), the storyline is confused (although it is less confused than the boiled-down version of this film that was featured in anthology film "Night Train to Terror") and the film is padded to a degree that has rarely been seen (with the nightmares suffered by Claire being especially annoying s far as that goes). Although the script tackles some interesting issues--God and faith, the nature of evil--its quality is obscured by bad artistic and technical choices on the part of the editor and director, and truly awful delivery of the lines on the part of most of the actors. Faith Clift, who is called upon to carry much of the movie is especially awful.

And then there's the inclusion of the Nazi angle. I don't doubt that an immortal devil would be involved with the likes of Hitler and his gang of loonies, but would he really be so stupid so as to be a hands-on kinda guy? At the rate the Nazis liked to turn on their own, he would be better off as a quiet manipulator instead of an SS officer who runs around machine-gunning Jews. (The whole Nazi angle doesn't add much to the film beyond distraction anyway. It might have been a stronger film if the whole plot with Cameron Mitchell and the Holocaust survivor had been dropped entirely. Or saved for a different movie.)

As far as I know, this full-length version of the film is only available on DVD in multipacks--such as large collections like the "Nightmare Worlds 50 Movie Pack". In most cases, there will be enough other films for this one to not be that big a deal, but I would not recommend spending money on a stand-alone version. (And I'd save this one until you've watched everything else in the set.)