'Frostbiter' is sure to leave you cold

Whoops! Failed to notice I saved this as a draft instead of scheduling it to post! Almost missed one of the 31 Nights of Halloween as a result!

Frostbiter: Wrath of the Wendigo (1990)
Starring: Ron Asheton, Lori Baker, Devlin Burton, and Patrick Butler
Director: Tom Chaney
Rating: Three of Ten Stars

When a drunken doctor on a hunting trip (Asheton) shoots the guardian of a mystic circle keeping the monstrous Wendigo contained, it falls to a teenaged girl (Baker) with dormant magical powers to stop the creature before it turns the entire world into a snowbound hell.


"Frostbiter" is another one of those movies that I wanted to like--how can one NOT want to like a movie where a pot of extra-spicy chili turns into a bunch of flesh-eating of monsters? It starts like a fairly typical low-budget monster film, morphs into an "Evil Dead"-wannabe, but then disintergrates into a morass of bad writing, easily avoidable continuity gaffes, and pointless plot meandering.

For what they had to work with budget-wise, the filmmakers do a great job with the special effects--the stop-motion animation is particuarly well-done--and unlike many creators at this level, they have a sense of not to dwell on their low-budget gore and animations but use editing techniques to minimize their presence onscreen and thus maximize their impact. The use of lighting and color on screen is also superior to what is found in many low-budget horrors.

However, the technical aplomb of the creators does not make up for the nonsensical, inconsistent and incoherent script where characters seem to forget what's going on in the rest of the film for entire sequences... and the weakness of the script is only made more apparent by the amateur actors featured in the film.

"Frostbiter" is a bad movie with a few scattered worthwhile moments. The aforementioned chili monsters, the "encounter" with Miss October, and the stop-motion Wendigo puppet are all highlights. But they are nowhere near enough to make this a movie that's worth your time.

'Dead Dudes in the House' should stay there

Dead Dudes in the House (aka "The Dead Come Home") (1991)
Starring: Mark Zobian and Naomi Kooker
Directors: J. Rifflel and Edgar Lewis
Rating: Four of Ten Stars

A group of 20-something men and women set out to restore a decaying mansion that one of them have bought for an amazingly low price. As they get ready for work, one of them maliciously breaks a tombstone in the backyard, and, in doing so, awakens a pair of malevolent spirits that inhabit the house. What follows is a night of terror as our protagonists are stalked and killed one by one. They don't stay dead for long, though...

"Dead Dudes in the House" is a so-so low-budget effort that's a cross between a slasher flick and a haunted house movie. While I have the sense that the filmmakers never been within three miles of anyone involved with renovating a house, they did create a film that distinguishes itself with having a rare set of horror movie main characters that generally behaved as though they actually had brains in their heads.

As a "killer in the house" slasher movie, "Dead Dudes" works pretty well. The victims even try to keep in a group rather than splitting up! As a ghost film, it is somewhat lacking.

The film never gives us any good reason for WHY the ghosts are bent on killing everyone who enters the house, including a couple of teen boys who get added late in the film. (Okay, so they oogle the ghost of the daughter, but that's hardly a reason since she invites them to do so.) The reason might be "because they're insane"--terrible things did happen to the women who haunt the house--but I'm not sure that reason holds up. In any case, there's no explanation for why their victims reanimate as homicidal killers themselves. (Although... I suppose this means "Dead Dudes" was ahead of its time, because the ghosts in the Japanese and American sequels to "The Grudge" seem to be likewise poorly motivated.)

Maybe I'm just thinking too hard, but I would probably have given this film another Star if it had given me a satisfactory answer to those questions.




(This is one of the movies featured in 150 Movies You Should (Die Before You) See. It's one of better efforts spotlighted in the "Terrible Monster Movies" chapter.

The other James Bond is 'Def by Tempation'

Def by Temptation (1990)
Starring: James Bond III, Kadeem Hardison and Samuel L. Jackson
Director: James Bond III
Rating: Six of Ten Stars

"Def by Temptation" is the tale of a young preacher-in-training (Bond, who also wrote and directed the flick) who takes a break from his studies to spend time with his childhood friend (Hardison) in NYC, obstensibly to get to know a little about the world. He gets a little more than he bargains for, as he gets caught in the web of a demoness who is single-handedly depopulating a pick-up joint. (The demon preys on human weaknesses, such as lust and greed.) The big question: Will the young preacher remain pure and alive, or will he join the demon's list of victims?


Pacing- and story-wise, this is a standard B-Movie, which is of no surprise, as this is a film from Troma. It's a touch more upscale/serious than a typical Troma release, but it still has its share of humorous moments. The cinematography and lighting is above average... and there's actually a bit of acting going on in a number of scenes! (James Bond III is not one of the highlights, unfortunately.) There are a number of confused moments in the storyline, but none are fatally distracting, so, all in all, this is a fun romp.

Breaking a cinematic taboo over and over

Beware! Children at Play (1996)
Starring: Michael Robertson, Rich Hamilton, Robin Lilly, Mik Cribben, and Lorna Courtney
Director: Mik Cribben
Rating: Three of Ten Stars

Some films--most perhaps--have their origin in a single idea or a single visualized scene. If those films are done poorly, it's obvious what that idea was. With "Beware! Children at Play", I think that idea was, "Hey... no one ever kills little kids in movies. Why don't we make a movie where we kill a dozen or more!"


In "Beware! Children at Play", horror novelist and paranormal investigator John DeWolfe (Robertson) travels with his wife and daughter to a small, isolated New Jersey village where his old Army buddy Ross (Hamilton) is the sheriff. More than a dozen children have vanished from the village in recent months, and Ross wants John's assistance in getting to the bottom of the matter. As they investigate, they uncover terror, tragedy, some really pathetic acting, and a very, very far-fetched plot.

With the exception of the climax, this film is about as predictable as they come. There are some mildly creative spins on the epic of Beowulf and Grendel, and there's enough meat to the story to keep the viewer engaged... so long as that viewer has a high tolerance for nonsense, bad acting, weak gore effects, and a town inhabited by every backwoods stereotype imaginable.

Oh... and you should keep in mind my first paragraph. If you don't like the idea of little children dying in droves, you should not even consider this movie... because a mass-murder of children is the film's high point.

AIDS is a danger even to vampires in'Sucker: The Vampire'

Sucker: The Vampire (1993)
Starring: Alex Erkiletian, Yan Birch, and Monica Baber
Director: Hans Rodionoff
Rating: Seven of Ten Stars

Reed (Erkelitian) is a nurse at a local hospital who moonlights as a vampire's man-servant and disposer-of--drained-bodies. When he accidentally leads Vanessa Helsing (Baber), a sexy vampire-killer to the home of his master (Birch), the showdown ends with Vanessa's death. However, even in death, she gains revenge, as she infects the vampire with AIDS and he swiftly starts to waste away.


"Sucker: The Vampire" is perhaps one of the strangest vampire films ever made... and it manages to be hilarious, twisted, and touching all at the same time. The film is 100 percent flab-free--not a scrap of padding anywhere!--the script is witty, and the twist in the final act is quite funny (and more than a little creepy). The lighting and camera-work is expertly done throughout the the film. (The lighting in the vamp re scenes is particularly clever.) Heck, despite all the tragic events that unfold, the filmmakers manage to deliver a perfect happy ending!

Most of the film centers on Erkelitian doing some pretty funny shtick that swings from him portraying a mildly creepy geek to a full-out, necrophiliac madman; I don't think you'll ever seen Renfield or Ygor in quite the same light again after watching this movie. Later, after his vampire employer gets sick, the two realize they are each other's only friends... and that's when the movie gets strangely touching. There's a scene on Reed's boat that's very nicely done. The slip of the vampire from mean-spirited predator to suffering victim is also well executed from both a writing and acting perspective.

Speaking of acting, the leads and primary supporting players in the film all do fine jobs, with Birch making a fine straight man to Erkelitian's antics. Baber also does a good job as the driven vampire killer... and those outfits! She can come around looking for vampires at my house any day, so long as she dresses like she does in "Sucker"!

Although it won't spawn any sequels, "Sucker: The Vampire" does for the vampire genre what "The Toxic Avenger Part III" did for superhero flicks. It's one of the strangest, funniest vampire movies ever made.