Murder and mayhem and malfunctioning zombies...oh my!

Death Warmed Up (1985)
Starring: Michael Hurst, Margaret Umbers, William Upjohn, Gary Day, and Norelle Scott
Director: David Blyth
Rating: Three of Ten Stars

Evil Dr. Howell (Day) brainwashes young Michael (Hurst) to murder his parents, because they annoy him. Michael then spends several years in a mental institution, while Howell goes onto turning most of the residents of a small island into brain-surgically altered zombies that are controlled by sound waves (or, at the very least, beeper signals)... that is, when they're not malfunctioning and going on violent murder and rape sprees. Michael is eventually released from the loonie bin, and brings three friends to Howell's island, hoping to gain revenge. Mayhem, motorcycle chases in underground tunnels, zombie rampages, and the violent deaths of innocent friends ensue.



This movie makes absolutely no sense. I've had dreams that were more coherent than "Death Warmed Up".

In this movie, we have a mad doctor doing experiments on a massive scale, yet there's no indication where his funding is coming from, or why the authorities haven't taken notice. He's got an army of zombies with some sort of brain implants that malfunction every now and then... sometimes the malfunctioning zombies are killed, sometimes they're put in a storage locker (where disgruntled employees can release them when the plot calls for it). We've got zombies driving motorcycles in the tunnels near the mad doctor's sprawling facility, because that is a GREAT way to keep out intruders, I imagine.

And then we have our heroes. I'm not even going to start attempting to explain their actions (and lack thereof). I will wonder, though, why, if Michael came to the island in search of Dr. Howell, why did he drag three friends (two of them wholly ignorant about Michael's past) along... and why does he spend time romping on the beach with them?

The film is watchable if you approach it like a really stupid logic puzzle... or if you're throwing a Bad Movie Party and looking for something to round out the lineup. Otherwise, you're better off ignoring "Death Warmed Up."

'House of 9' is fairly unremarkable

House of 9 (2006)
Starring: Dennis Hopper and Kelly Brook
Director: Steven R. Monroe
Rating: Five of Ten Stars

Nine strangers wake up in a house with no exits and an automatic feeding system. A voice announces over a speaker that only one of them may leave the house alive, but that person will "win" 5 million dollars. Will these prisoners work together to escape, or will they turn on each other?


"House of 9" is a little bit of "Cube", a little bit of "Saw", and a whole lot of "Big Brother." It goes light on the "torture porn" aspect of the film, and it's spends a little more time developing the captured characters as believable human beings--both of which help it score a few extra points with me--but while it held my attention, but it didn't do much more than that.

There was nothing in particular that makes me want to condemn the film (although the annoying jump cuts that got used to show a character's mind snapping, and the slipping accent of Hopper almost rose to the level of bothersome) but there's also nothing that makes me want to stand up and cheer. The film moves along at a decent pace, the tension stays high, and the ending ellicits sadistic chuckles. There weren't any real surprises, though.

I think "House of 9" is an average, fairly unoriginal film. It's not bad, but it's not good. If you're a fan of this particular horror subgenre--or huge a fan of Kelly Brook or Dennis Hopper--you might put it somewhere low on your priority list, but otherwise, skip it for the day it shows up on TV and there's nothing else to watch.

Saturday Scream Queen: Robin Sydney

Robin Sydney got her start as a professional actress by appearing on the short-lived "Andy Dick Show" in 2001 (which was probably a horror tale in-and-of-itself" and since then has been dividing her time between horror and comedy. She is best known as one of Full Moon's leading ladies during the past decade (with starring turns in both "Evil Bong" films and last year's "Skull Heads," but she has also appeared on "CSI" and in well over a dozen other films and television series.

To read reviews of her films for Full Moon Features, click here to visit The Charles Band Collection.

It's not just immodest women who make the earth move.

Tremors (1989)
Starring: Fred Ward, Kevin Bacon, Finn Carter, Michael Gross and Reba McEntire
Director: Ron Underwood
Rating: Eight of Ten Stars

Two handymen (Ward and Bacon) and a geologist (Carter) discover that giant worm-like creatures are killing people in the area around tiny Perfection, Nevada... just in time for the creatures to start attacking the town itself.


"Tremors" is a perfect mix of humor and horror, and it should rate as one of the all-time classic monster movies. The isolation of the tiny desert town cut off from the rest of the world as it is beseiged by bizarre, monstrous creatures, and the suspense of never knowing when the burrowing beasts will claim their next victim give this movie an atmosphere that puts in on par with other great monster movies. The absurdist comedy elements (which were surprising and unusual when the film was first released) give it a unique feel all its own. And the hlarious, heavily armed survivalists/militia-members played by Gross and McEntire almost make this movie worth seeing just by themselves.

This is a classic monster movie that is a must-see for horror fans.

College kids don't summon smarts in 'Seance'

Seance (2006)
Starring: Kandis Erickson, Tori White, Chauntal Lewis, A.J. Lamas, Joel Giest. Adrian Paul, Bridget Shergalis and Jack Hunter
Director: Mark L. Smith
Rating: Six of Ten Stars

When a group of bored college students (Erickson, Lewis, Lamas and White) hold a seance to contact the ghost of a little girl that is haunting their dorm (Shergalis), they end up rasing the spirit of the man who murdered her (Paul). Naturally, he picks up where he left off, and the hapless students are at the top of his target list.


"Seance" is a straight-forward ghost movie with a script that's better than I've come to expect given the lack of effort that goes into writing horror movies these days. Not only do the characters behave fairly intelligently--allowing for the fact they're not very bright to begin with--but the overall story is solid and even stays away from the non-surprising suprise twist ending that so many writers employ in vain attempts to spruce up their badly done scripts.

All other apsects of the film are competent if unremarkable, including the quality of the effects, the acting and the use of sound and lighting throughout the picture. All-in-all, if you enjoy a well-done chiller featuring murderous spirits, you should find this film worth your time.

'Dead Again': Mystery meets reincarnation

Dead Again (1991)
Starring: Kenneth Branagh, Emma Thompson, Derek Jacobi, Andy Garcia and Robin Williams
Director: Kenneth Branagh
Rating: Six of Ten Stars

A private detective (Branagh) trying to uncover the identity of a victim of amnesia (Thompson) discovers that she may be a reincarnated murder victim... and that someone is still stalking her.


"Dead Again" is a thriller with fantasy/horror overtones as it revolves around the notion that people are reincarnated to share life after life. It makes good use of the fantasy elements, weaving them into the mystery plot and using them as part misdirection and ultimately making them central to a couple of well-executed third-act twists.

While this a well-acted and often engrossing film with a well-written script, it drags a little during the flashbacks to the 1940s to the point where it might be tempting to turn it off. If you stick with it, your patience will be rewarded, although you will still wish they had trimmed a bit of those sections.

Saturday Scream Queen: Veronica Carlson

Blonde and beautiful Veronica Carlson graced several of the best gothic horror flicks during the late 1960s, being victimized by such classic movie villains as Christopher Lee's Dracula and Peter Cushing's Baron Frankenstein. In fact, never has Cushing's Frankenstein been so loathsome as when he raped Carlson's character in "Frankenstein Must Be Destroyed" (1969).

Carlson married in 1974, and she retired from acting to raise her family and pursue a career as a painter. However, as of the mid-1990s, she once again began appearing in films. So far, though, her roles have been few, with "Black Easter" (1994) being the most noteworthy.

Click here to read reviews of the films where Carlson starred opposite the great Peter Cushing at The Peter Cushing Collection.

You just can't keep a bad vampire down....

Dracula Has Risen From the Grave (1968)
Starring: Rupert Davies, Veronica Carlson, Christopher Lee, Ewan Hooper, and Barry Andrews
Director: Freddie Francis
Rating: Six of Ten Stars

After a craven, cowardly priest (Hooper) accidentally revives Dracula (Lee) from an icy grave in a shadowy crevice of a Transylvanian mountain, the vampire lord discovers his castle has been sealed with blessings and cruxifixes. Swearing revenge, he pursues the Monsignor who made his home inaccessible to him (Davies).


Although it's a direct sequel to "Dracula: Prince of Darkness", "Dracula Has Risen From the Grave" pays little attention to continuity. (Castle Dracula is a fortress in this movie, where it was more of a chateau in the two previous films.)

That aside, however, the film presents a Dracula who is far more evil than he's been portrayed before, cramming more nasty needs into the limited amount of time he is afforded into the story into this one movie than in the previous two. The opening of the film where a murdered girl is found stuffed inside a church's bell is one of the more shocking openers to any of Hammer's horror films. Dracula's pursuit of Monsignor Mueller and his family--particularly of the lovely Maria (Veronica Carlson) also gives rise to a number of chilling moments.

The movie also features some fine acting, gorgeous sets and great camerawork... not to mention the gorgeous cleavages of Carlson and Barbara Ewing! In other words, it's got all the elements we expect to find in a Hammer vampire flick from the 1950s and 1960s.

Unfortunately, the film suffers from the lack of a strong antagonist to combat Dracula. Rupert Davies is okay, but he's no Peter Cushing (Van Helsing in "Horror of Dracula") or Andrew Keir (Father Sandor in "Dracula: Prince of Darkness"). It also doesn't help the film that the good guys triumph in the end here because of a deus ex machina finale. (And I think that plot device has rarely been so literally on display as it is in this film.)

If you're a fan of Hammer's vampire movies, I think you'll enjoy "Dracula Has Risen From the Grave". It's not quite as good as "Horror of Dracula" or "Dracula: Prince of Darkness", but it's a nice chiller.

'Wishmaster' is lots of gory fun

Wishmaster (1997)
Starring: Tammy Lauren, Robert Englund, Andrew Divoff, Reggie Bannister, Kane Hodder
Director: Robert Kurtzman
Rating: Seven of Ten Stars

In "Wishmaster," an evil demonic spirit, a djinn (Divoff), that has been trapped inside an enchanted gem since Babylon was young, is accidentially unleashed onto the unsuspecting modern world. He requires his unknowing liberator (Lauren) to make three wishes so that he may call forth hoards of his kind and create Hell on Earth. While tracking down his liberator so he can grant her three wishes, he wanders the streets of a big city in human form and grants wishes to whoever he comes across--and he always twists them into the nastiest, most violent interpertations.


The story in this movie is, basically, a weak retelling of the classic short-story "The Monkey's Paw", and it spins around the same "be careful what you wish for" moral. Aside from a shakey storyline, the film is hampered by a weak performance by its star, Tammy Lauren. However, the outrageously gory ways the djinn kills his victims and the evil glee with which Andrew Divoff portrays him, by themselves earned the film four of the stars I'm giving it. (Watch particularly for the scene where the djinn has to deal with the rent-a-cop, played by Kane Hodder, at the office where Lauren's character works. It's a doozy, and one of Divoff's best moments in the film.)

The film is also elevated by a stronger ending than what I've grown to expect from second-tier horror flicks like this one. It's not exactly unpredicatble, but it is very well handled.

'Practical Magic' is chick flick all can enjoy

Practical Magic (1998)
Starring: Sandra Bullock, Nicole Kidman, Stockard Channing, Diane Wiest, Goran Visnjic and Aidan Quinn
Director: Griffin Dunne
Rating: Eight of Ten Stars

Two very different sisters (Bullock and Kidman) who descend from a long line of witches, come together for the first time since their lonely childhood to cover up a murder and to break a long-standing family curse.


"Practical Magic" is a textbook definition of a "chick flick", but it has enough humor and suspense, along with just a touch of supernatural horror, that guys will be able to sit through it without complaining and even have a good time. It's a well acted movie that rests upon a solid, well-written script that's driven by a very literal interpretation of the notion of "Girl Power". There are a couple of continuity hiccups--such as the moon apparently going from full to a sliver in three days--but otherwise you'll have to do some real nitpicking to find fault with the film.

Sandra Bullock puts on her usual fine performance, once again playing her standard rumpled, slightly nerdy Girl Next Door character. Nicole Kidman, as wild and slutty sister, even puts on a good performance, something I don't think I've said about her since "Dead Calm". (Her put-on American accent slips on more than one occcasion, but she does a decent job otherwise.) They are supported admirably by the rest of the cast, with Goran Visnjic standing out as a particuarly creepy Bad Boyfriend.

So, guys, next time it's her time to chose for a Movie Night, and if she has a habit of picking historical dramas or tear-jearkers or pure chick flicks, see if you can steer her to "Practical Magic". You'll thank me for it.

How awful that Allan is haunted or insane

How Awful About Allan (1970s)
Starring: Anthony Perkins, Julie Harris, and Joan Hackett
Director: Curtis Harrington
Rating: Seven of Ten Stars

Allan (Perkins), who has been suffering from hysterical blindness since the burning death of his father, is released from an asylum and into the care of his sister (Harris). But mysterious events start occuring around Allan, events that fill his blurry world with terror. Is he being haunted by the ghost of his dead father, is his sister trying to drive him insane, or is it all in his mind?


"How Awful About Allan" is a well-staged and perfectly paced modern-day gothic thriller. With a great cast--among which we see Anthony Perkins giving what might have been the best performance of his career--who were working with an intelligent and well-written script, and a director who knows how to deploy his entire arsenal of set design, cinematography, lighting, sound effects, and music to envoke a sense of mystery and dread.

Despite its humble (and sometimes obvious) television origins, this is a film worth seeking out by anyone who is a fan of gothic tales. ("How Awful About Allan" stands as one of the great achievements of the late Aaron Spelling.)

Saturday Scream Queen: Shawnee Smith

Shawnee Smith was the only attractive thing about the very ugly first three installments of the "torture porn" series "Saw", and she came back for one more bite at that apple in 2009's "Saw VI."

She was also the host of "Scream Queens," a 2008 reality/game show where ten aspiring actresses competed for a part in "Saw VI". I guess I'll have to check that film out, just to see if the winner was any good.

(Trivia: Desptite all the movie reviews I write, I have not watched television on a regular basis since 1995, and I haven't had cable TV since even before that. I didn't even know there WAS a "Scream Queens" TV show until this afternoon.)

The other James Bond is 'Def by Tempation'

Def by Temptation (1990)
Starring: James Bond III, Kadeem Hardison and Samuel L. Jackson
Director: James Bond III
Rating: Six of Ten Stars

"Def by Temptation" is the tale of a young preacher-in-training (Bond, who also wrote and directed the flick) who takes a break from his studies to spend time with his childhood friend (Hardison) in NYC, obstensibly to get to know a little about the world. He gets a little more than he bargains for, as he gets caught in the web of a demoness who is single-handedly depopulating a pick-up joint. (The demon preys on human weaknesses, such as lust and greed.) The big question: Will the young preacher remain pure and alive, or will he join the demon's list of victims?


Pacing- and story-wise, this is a standard B-Movie, which is of no surprise, as this is a film from Troma. It's a touch more upscale/serious than a typical Troma release, but it still has its share of humorous moments. The cinematography and lighting is above average... and there's actually a bit of acting going on in a number of scenes! (James Bond III is not one of the highlights, unfortunately.) There are a number of confused moments in the storyline, but none are fatally distracting, so, all in all, this is a fun romp.