Props just for being titled 'Werewolf Bitch'

The Howling II: Your Sister Is a Werewolf (aka "Howling II: Stirba, Werewolf Bitch")(1986)
Starring: Annie McEnroe, Reb Brown, Christopher Lee, Marsha Hunt, Sybil Danning, Judd Omen and Ladislav Krecmer
Director: Philippe Mora
Rating: Three of Ten Stars

Occultist Stefan Crosscoe (Lee) convinces Jenny (McEnroe) that her newscaster sister's mysterious death was caused by werewolves. Together with Jenny's fiance Ben (Brown), they travel to Transylvania to avenge her sister and take advantage of a once-in-a-millenia chance to destroy the immortal Stirba, Mother of Werewolves (Danning).


"The Howling II: Your Sister Is a Werewof" (released in GB with the subtitle "Stirba, Werewolf Bitch", one of my all-time favorite movie titles) is not a good movie by any standard. The script is muddled to the point of near-incomprehensibility and the film is edited in such a way that scenes seem like they're out of place--Is the underground club at the start of the movie a werewolf hangout or not? Is the new wave/punk band performing there also performing at Stirba's Transylvanian werewolf sex party, or is reusing the performance some weird attempt at padding the run-time? Why does Jenny decide to take a bath in the middle of the day, especially when she knows Stefan may call her to head out to werewolf castle any time? Why do the number of werewolves seem to increase and descrease at random and/or according to the needs of the plot? Why do the heroes wait until nightfall to raid the castle?-- and the acting is barely passable by everyone involved, including that offered by the great Christopher Lee.

And then there's the werewolf make-up and transformation scenes. It's not the worst I've ever seen, but, although this was clearly a low-budget quickie, the budget stil was such that it could have allowed for something better than werewolf costuming that looks like it was created with a make-up kit bought off the shelf in a Halloween costume shop along with fake fur harvested from coats at the thrift shop. The take-away lesson here is that if you're going to make a werewolf movie, put the money into hiriing a decent make-up artist and make-up effects designer.

For all that's wrong with this movie, it's still got a touch of that "so bad it's good" charm to it. There are few movies you;ll see that will have you wondering "Did I just see what I think I saw? Did I just hear them say what I think they said?"

I hesitate to recommend this film--too many of you reading this know how to email me and some of you even know where I live--but it might be a worthwhile addition to a werewolf-themed Bad Movie Night, or perhaps something to have running in a screening room at a large Halloween party. (Just be aware, there is subject matter in the film that's not appropriate for the kiddies. The players of "Ricky Shore Sings the Blues" called attention to that fact when they featured a clip from "Howling II" in their Werewolves in Heat skit. And a great skit that was, too. I would have loved to have imbedded it here, but it seems to have vanished from the web. A shame really.)

Eddie Murphy is a 'Vampire in Brooklyn'

Vampire In Brooklyn (1995)
Starring: Eddie Murphy, Angela Bassett, Kadeem Hardison, and Allen Payne
Director: Wes Craven
Rating: Six of Ten Stars

Maximillian (Murphy) is the last of a dying breed of vampires. He travels to New York City to woo the one woman who can become his undead bride and save his bloodline (Bassett). But he first has to overcome her devoted friend and valiant defender (Payne), and the incompetence of the local help (Hardison).


"Vampire in Brooklyn" is a horror/comedy that, despite its great cast and talented director barely manages to achieve the upper end of average. It's a great homage/send-up of the blacksploitation flicks from the 1970s, and the classic vampire movies of the 30s, 50s, and 60s, and it mixes its elements well... but it doesn't go quite far enough with either its humor or horror.

The cast, though, needs to be acknowledged. Murphy plays an excellent vampire, bringing charm and menace to every scene he's in--not to mention a fair amount of well-delivered laugh lines. Hardison, however, is the true comedic heart of the film. As Maximillian's slowly rotting undead henchman, he is funny and disgusting all at the same time. Bassett and Payne both make for great romantic figures--her with her troubled past and even more troubled destiny, and he with his unwavering devotion to her and his duty as a police officer. Every actor and every character in the film are perfect for the type of movie this is... it's just that there isn't enough "oomph" here.

I've been told there are some out there who believe this movie is racist, because of Hardison's dimwitted, lowlife, criminal character who becomes an even more repulsive undead creature. They also like to point to the various black criminals and all-around scum that Maximillian meets when he arrives in Brooklyn. Oh my God... the movie features black characters who are less than righteous, and who serve as comic relief!

What these critics seem to miss (or, more likely, willfully ignore) is that Bassett and Payne both present black characters who are high-achieving, highly intelligent career police detectives. And then there's Murphy's vampire character--the lead figure in our story.

So, if you've heard someone condemn this movie for its racists undertones, just write that person off as a moron whose love of Political Correctness has rotten his brain. If you've heard someone condemn "Vampire In Brooklyn" for its timid, middle-of-the-road script that seems to be striving for acceptance among polite society, you're dealing with someone who is closer to criticizing the movie's true flaws.

The bottom line is that Eddie Murphy and Wes Craven have both done films worse than "Vampire In Brooklyn". However, this is a movie that should have ratcheted up the comedy and/or horror aspects just a tad more to be truly good.

Boredom rises from the tomb in 'Mummy Raider'

Mummy Raider (2002)
Starring: Misty Mundae, Darian Caine, Bruce G. Hallenbeck and Ruby Larocca
Director: Brian Paulin
Rating: Zero of Ten Stars

When Kristen (Caine) is abducted by a Neo-Nazi scientist (Larocca), it's up to adventuress Misty (Mundae) to save her before an ancient evil mummy is resurrected. Will even Misty's considerable skills at shooting, Kung Fu fighting, and lesbian seduction save the day?!


This "movie" clocks in at about 45 minutes, and even that's too long. It doesn't work as a spoof (it's not funny), it doesn't work as an action film (the fight scenes are so very, very lame), it doesn't work as thriller (bad acting and an even worse plot), it doesn't work as a horror film (horrible though it may be), and it doesn't even work as a soft-core porn flick (yeah, Misty wanders around topless for most of the flick, but so what?!).

Zita Johann was sexier in the 1932 Universal film "The Mummy" fully clothed than any of the ladies are in this flick. Yes, the girls here are very attractive and the casting appears to have been done so there's a breast-size to meet your oogling preference... but you've got to be REALLY hungry for naked flesh to sit through this one.

Add to the drawbacks what is one of the very worst mummy costumes that has ever been put on a film that people were expected to pay money to see, and you've got something that's not even worth the time it'll take you put the disc in your DVD player.

Interesting movie choked under a crushing amount of padding

Grave of the Vampire (aka "Seed of Evil") (1974)
Starring: William Smith, Michael Pataki, Lyn Peters, Kitty Vallacher, and Eric Mason
Director: John Hayes
Rating: Five of Ten Stars

James Eastman (Smith) is a dhampire, a creature who is part human and part vampire. He has spent his adult life tracking the vampire (Pataki) who raped his mother... and the final confrontation is close at hand.


"Grave of the Vampire" is noteworthy for horror fans, because it actually contains a greater amount of material based on actual vampire myths than 99 percent of the vampire fiction, comics, and movies out there. While the film does give its vampire a strangely magnetic personality, he is primarily just a brutal monster.

Unfortunately, the movie is also very, very slow with redundant scenes that drag on and often establish the same plot point multiple times in different ways. It doesn't so much feel padded as just drawn out and in need of an editor. I suppose that given it was probably made with distribution to drive-in theaters in mind this might have been a good approach, because couples could make out and still have a chance of following the movie... but for the modern viewer waching it on TV, this lends itself to a boring rather than thrilling experience. (Although... maybe that's just the case for old fogeys like me. Current teens can now make out in the comfort of their parents' TV room and follow the movie at the same time!)

Another strike against the movie is the acting. The acting ranges from blah to horrible. Michael Pataki is creepy as the monstrous vampire rapist, William Smith is decent as the dhampire out for revenge, and Eric Mason is passable as a police detective tracking the vampire early on, but most of the other actors display how little talent they have instead of the other way around.

Director John Hayes does deserve some credit for enfusing the film with a steady, oppressive, downbeat mood. Despuite indifferent camerawork, he makes great use of lighting and fog machines to create an atmosphere that manages to convey chills to the viewer despite the film's flaws. With some heavy editing this could have been a scary little move, even with the substandard actors. The story has plenty of potential... the execution was just botched.

Worst. Prom. Ever. (Except for the ones in the sequels.)

Prom Night (1980)
Starring: Jamie Lee Curtis, Leslie Nielsen, Casey Stevens, Michael Tough, Anne-Marie Martin, Mary-Beth Rubens, Joy Thompson, George Touliatos, Pita Oliver and Sheldon Rybowski
Director: Paul Lynch
Rating: Five of Ten Stars

A masked killer targets four teens (Stevens, Martin, Rubens, and Tompson) who covered up their involvement in the accidental death of a playmate six years prior. It's their senior prom, and, conincidentally, the older sister of the dead girl (Curtis) is the queen of the prom and one of the intended victims is the king. Will she become a victim herself, or will she stop the murderer dead in his tracks? What tragedies will play out on this prom night to remember.

"Prom Night" is a nicely done slasher-flick that is the direct antecedent of "I Know What You Did Last Summer" and similar "dark secret" high school slasher flicks where a murderer bent on avenging a hidden crime on prom night, graduation day, homecoming or some other event that's standard on the annual calendar of American high schools. It starts out promising and presents viewers with the standard mix of Kids We Like and Kids We Hate, with even a few we feel okay in rooting for, or hoping they escape the murderer's sharp weapons of death.

The actors all give acceptable performances, but no one stands out in particular. Jamie Lee Curtis plays the "Survivor Girl" character that we've see her play in "Halloween" and "Terror Train", but she doesn't quite rise to the level of the performances she gave in those films. She, like every other cast member gives a satisfactory performance but there's nothing remarkable about it. She, Leslie Neilsen, and everyone else is good enough but not spectacular.

If average acting was the weakest part of "Prom Night", it could have ended up at the high end of average. Unfortunately, the film is done in either by a sloppy script, or by sloppy post-production hackjob editing. Because of poor attention to story development and details, the various red herrings surrounding the killer start stinking like they've been left in the sun for three days by the third act, and the climactic moments of the film don't quite come together because of too many loose ends and inexplicably missing characters. (I can't say who isn't around for the film's climax without spoiling the true identity of the killer, it's an absense that needed to be explained instead of the character just vanishing halfway through the movie. Similarly, the absense of the killer while he was out stalking victims should have been noted by someone at the dance, because he definately would have been missed.)

"Prom Night" is a film that's interesting from a historical perspective as it was the first true example of the "teen slasher" subgenre that ultimately led to a revival of the slasher flicks that hasn't run its course yet.

Yet another couple discovers whyvacationing/honeymooning in Trasylvania is a bad idea

Kiss of the Vampire (aka "Kiss of Evil")(1962)
Starring: Edward DeSouza, Cifford Evans, Jennifer Daniel, Noel Willman, and Barry Warren
Director: Don Sharp
Rating: Eight of Ten Stars

When a honeymooning British couple, Gerard and Marianne (DeSouza and Daniel) run out of gas on an isolated road, local nobleman Dr. Ravna (Willman) comes to their aid. Their gratefulness soon turns to horror, as Ravna is the leader of a cult of vampires, and he has chosen Marianne to the latest addition to the membership roster.


"Kiss of the Vampire" is one of Hammer's best vampire movies. Although a bit slow at times, it opens strong, offers one of the creepiest sequences in any Hammer movie, and a very unusual and refreshing ending.

The overall structure of the film reminds me more of an unofficial remake of Edgar Ulmer's Boris Karloff/Bela Lugosi film "The Black Cat" from 1934 (review here) than it does any other Hammer vampire film. In fact, as I think about it, the story here is almost exactly like that of "The Black Cat", except the cultists are vampires instead of Satanists.

Whether you're a lover of all things vampires, or someone who can appreciate a finely told gothic horror tale, this is a movie you should seek out. That goes double if you enjoyed "The Black Cat", as this unofficial remake/"inspired by"/"ripped off from" little-noticed Hammer classic is definately a film you'll get a kick from.

'The Legend of Hell House' is a perfect ghost movie

The Legend of Hell House (1973)
Starring: Roddy McDowall, Clive Revill, Pamela Franklin, and Gail Hunnicutt
Director: John Hough
Rating: Ten of Ten Stars

A parapsychologist (Revill) travels to Balasco House--also known as "Hell House" and reported to be the worst haunted house in the entire world--with his wife (Hunnicutt) and two psychics (McDowell and Franklin) in order to gain indisputable, scientific evidence for the existence of ghosts and other supernatural phenomena. But the evil that dwells within the sprawling mansion never gives up its secrets easily....


"The Legend of Hell House" is one of the greatest haunted house movies ever made. It works, first, because the director and cinematographer manage to convey the sense that the house itself is alive and a character in the movie, and, second, because of the great peformances of the stars, and, third, because it features a script so tight that not a single line of dialogue or action on the part of the characters doesn't feed into the suspense and horror of the film--horror that keeps mounting until the final twist at the movie's end.

This is a movie where everything is done right. The cinematography and lighting is supreme, the actors are all perfect in their parts--with Roddy McDowall as the reluctant psychic shining even brighter than the rest--and the pacing is perfect throughout.

I wish the producers and directors of moden horror movies (particularly ghost movies) would take a look at "Legend of Hell House". This film is far scarier than any ghost movie of recent vintage.

'Pitch Black' is a neat fusion of action, sci-fi and horror

Pitch Black (2000)
Starring: Vin Diesel, Radha Mitchell, and Claudia Black
Director: David Twohy
Rating: Eight of Ten Stars

In the sci-fi/horror flick "Pitch Black," a passenger ship is heavily damaged by the tail of a rogue comet and crashlands on a desolate planet. Only a handful of passengers and one crewmember, Fry (Mitchell), survive, and they find that they must put their faith in Riddick (Diesel), a violent, murderous criminal who was being transported on the ship if they are to have any hope to survive. However, they soon discover that Riddick isn't the most dangerous creature on the planet--caverns under the surface are teeming with deadly, flesh-eating beats. The upside is that these beats are extremely sensitive to light, and the planet has three suns. The downside is that the planet is about to be plunged into a total eclipse that may last for years.


"Pitch Black" is an excellent horror flick of the kind where a small group of people must survive the night against an onslaught of mysterious monsters. It sticks pretty close to the genre conventions, but it uses them to their full effectiveness, never allowing them to become an excuse for lazy storytelling or sloppy filmmaking. It's also one of those movies that shows that excellent filmmaking and judiciously used CGI can indeed happen in the context of a small budget.

The acting is great all around, the story has enough twists and turns to keep the audience guessing, and there isn't a single example of "stupid character syndrome" (where characters do something dumb just because the plot dictates it) anywhere in the film. The deaths at the hands of the monsters come so suddenly that they never lose their impact, and the very last one is perhaps the most startling of all.

I imagine there are some who will fault this movie for having a "Hollywood Ending"--like the person I watched it with did--but I think that's ignoring the way some of the character deaths were handled, as well as the character of Riddick. (Or maybe they might forget to consider the way characters like Riddick have been handled in recent horror, suspense and action flicks. It's been a while since a movie has actually allowed a character like Riddick to truly transform as the story progresses.)

Glasses are as effective as crosses when warding off Count Yorga

Count Yorga, Vampire (aka "The Loves of Count Iorga, Vampire") (1974)
Starring: Robert Quarry, Roger Perry, Michael MacReady, Donna Anders, Judith Lang and Michael Murphy
Director: Bob Kelljan
Rating: Six of Ten Stars

The vampire, Count Yorga (Quarry) seemingly sets his sights (and fangs) on every woman he meets, except one, proving a historical fact: In the 1970s, vampires didn't make passes at girls who wear glasses. Meanwhile, their incredibly boring boyfriends try to save by slaying the undead fiend.


"Count Yorga, Vampire" is not a movie that's aged well. First off, while the film is more overtly eortic than any older vampire movie I've seen--reflecting the filmmakers attempt to be part of the "sexual revolution"--it's surprisingly unsexy. Also, the flat lighting of most scenes, the indifferent photography, the bland performances n the past of the cast, and complete humorlessness of the proceedings cause this to be a somewhat dull experience that picks up in the film's final 15-20 minutes where the heroes invade Count Yorga's lair and confront him and his white-nightgown-clad vampire brides.

This film features the only 1970s vampire sequence that's as unnerving as the basement scene in "Satanic Rites of Dracula"... and the scene where Dr. Hayes has his showdown with Yorga and his vampire brides is also a fabulous bit of filmmaking. Even better, the film features a surprise shock ending that actually works, a truly rare and precious thing.

Although you'll have to sit through a predictable and uninteresting first hour, the final third of "Count Yorga, Vampire" will make it worth your while. It's hardly a must-see, but if you enjoy vampire films, you can do worse than this one.

'Warlock' will cast a spell on you

Warlock (1989)
Starring: Julian Sands, Lori Singer and Richard E. Grant
Director: Steve Miner
Rating: Seven of Ten Stars

A powerful, evil warlock (Sands) travels from the 16th century to modern day America to escape the witch hunter hot on his trail. The hunter (Grant) is more tenacious than he gives him credit for, and soon their battle resumes in 1989, with a young woman (Singer) who finds herself cursed by the warlock caught in the middle.


"Warlock" is a fast-paced, thrilling horror movies with numerous great moments and excellent performances by all the principles. The witch-legends it creates and how it uses them give the script a tremedmous freshness, and I am extremely impressed with the screenwriter's talent for crafting dialogue: Each character has is own "voice" and each sounds perfectly realistic (as far as time-traveling warlocks and witch-hunters are realistic that is).

Julian Sands gives perhaps his best performance so far as the boundlessly evil Warlock devoted to undoing Existence itself, while Richard Grant is almost as excellent as his world-weary foe. Singer is also good as a somewhat bubble-headed blond, a part that probably anyone could have played, but even she gets to shine during the scene where she is "nailing" the warlock's footprints, and during the final scene on the Utah Salt Flats.

This film is a prime example of how Steve Miner is one of the most underrated directors working in film; this 20-year-old movie is far more entertaining and scary than the vast majority of horror films being released today.

Love conquers death and demons

A Chinese Ghost Story (1987)
Starring: Leslie Cheung, Joey Wang, Ma Wu, Wai Lam, and Tsui Ming-Lau
Director: Siu-Tung Ching
Rating: Nine of Ten Stars

In ancient China, a young tax collector (Cheung) takes refuge from a rainstorm in an abandoned temple. Here, he meets and falls in love with a beautiful girl (Wang). There's only two things standing in the way of their great romance: She's dead, and she's to be married to a tree demon. Will love find a way even in this case?


"A Chinese Ghost Story" is a wild supernatural martial arts period comedy. It mixes equal amounts of horror, comedy, and tragedy wrapped in great costumes, spectacular sets, mindboggling special effects, and presented with brilliant camerawork, exceptional lighting, and a great musical score. There is literally not a dull moment, as the film careens from magical martial arts duel to terrifying spirit attack to sweet romantic moments to a magical martial arts duel with terrifying spirits who are interrupting a tender romantic moment.

While the wild action and special effects are going to keep you watching in amazement, it's the touching love story at the center of the film that is going to sell you on it. Even if you think romance is "icky", you will, like the bumbling hero of the film does, fall in love with the beautiful, kindhearted spirit, and you will root for her to be liberated from the demons and evil ghosts keeping her trapped.

Both an expertly crafted haunted house movie and a romantic melodrama, "A Chinese Ghost Story" is bound to enliven any ghost-themed Home Film Fest at your house.

'Mrs. Amworth' is a decent vampire tale

Mrs. Amworth (2007)
Starring: Magenta Brooks, Jim Nalitz, Daniel Ross, and Christy Sullivan
Director: Frank Sciurba
Rating: Six of Ten Stars

Recently widowed Mrs. Amworth (Brooks) returns from years abroad to take possession of her family home and lands in the quiet town of Wilton... and soon mysterious deaths start occuring. Is it coincidence, or, is she, as the town doctor (Nalitz) comes to suspect, or is she one of the walking dead--a vampire? And if he's right, will he be able to stop her from destroying a young photographer (Ross) and his journalist wife (Sullivan)?


"Mrs. Amworth" is a vampire movie that's worth seeing for its very strong feeling of a classic vampire tale. In fact, this film conveys more of the tone, feeling, and subtext of Stoker's "Dracula" novel than any movie adaptation of it I've seen, including the one titled "Bram Stoker's Dracula".

The film a bit slowly paced--there are a few scenes that I'd even accuse the director of arranging the way they are because he was padding the film's run-time--but it's because of the pace that it captures the feel of traditional vampire stories so well. It also brings to the screen more effectively than any other vampire movie I've seen the underlying fear of The Stranger/Foreign that so permeated Stoker's novel. In this film, Mrs. Amworth is the outside corrupting influence that enters into a peaceful community and happy circle of friends, bringing death and terror.

For all my talk about "Dracula", this film is actually a loose adaptation of E.F. Benson's vampire story "Mrs. Amworth." The film contains some of the key scenes from the story, but they aren't set up very effectively, and they feel like they're included almost to make sure that there's more left of original source than its title. For example, Mrs. Amworth's apparent death by car accident is set up in the story from the beginning, and it could easily have been done so in the film, but instead it just sort of comes out of left field. (The film also has a different ending than the short story, one that I supposed was devised partly due to budget, partly to not make the film COMPLETELY traditional as far as vampire stories go. Being something of a traditionalist myself, and given that this movie feels VERY traditional to me, up until the ending, I wish they'd gone with something closer to the short story.)


In the final analysis, "Mrs. Amworth" is a decent, if unspectacular, vampire movie. The actors in the film are okay, although no one in particularly stands out; they all do a creditable job. The same is true of the cinematography and overall direction of the film... it's a solid bit of work, but nothing particularly spectacular. The script could have done with a little more polish, as some of the dialogue is flatter than pancakes, and, as mentioned above, some of the scenes feel like they've been padded.

As low-budget vampire films go, "Mrs. Amworth" is a good effort that's worth checking out.




(You can also read the short story upon which the film was based at my Fiction Archive by clicking here.)